04-22-2015 Exciting News!

Praise God! I had my second Biospy last week, I was really apprehensive about it, since I didn't have a good experience few months back. This time it went well...I've recovered well.

Since my clinical trail of  immune therapy for lung cancer failed, I started my first round of Chemotherapy last Wednesday. I had wanted to wait for another week to get mentally and physically ready for this battle, but the rate that my tumor cells are growing, my oncologist suggested otherwise.

On the same day of my chemo, our long-awaited foster daughter, Dena arrived from Beijing! It's a miracle that Dena was granted both Chinese passport and US visa to visit us.  She plans to stay here for few months or so...We thank God for this special gift!!!

Many of you does not know that besides battling my lung cancer, I was also advocating to pass a state legislative bill called AB 836 "California Tour Guides Act". Amazingly, it has passed the first Business Committee reading.  Like me, AB 836, it's ready for "Round 2" battle.

I am just so thankful God sends me great gifts in my dark moments!  Now, I want to ask for a bigger gift: a GIFT of Healthy and Joyful Life!

LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE Jamie 

03-01-2015 Only Round 1

       Throughout my life journey, I have to close few chapters: "Leaving LA lifestyle to embrace Beijing", Letting go Baby Daniel"...by far closing "LA Tourism and Convention Board" chapter was the hardest. I thought I have gone thru enough drama in my life, I now even have to consider closing the chapter of my life.
       I was hoping and praying for positive news today! Unfortunately, my last 3 months of clinical trail of immunology therapy was not successful, so I am getting another biopsy and considering chemo next.  

      Even though I told myself: "Okay, this is only Round 1, it's not over yet!" I feel sad and depressed. I hate defeating, but I will still keep my FAITH a and TRUST  God has the best plan for me.

03-25-2015 There Is Hope

       (by David)

        Last week, Jamie and I went to Bethel for healing prayer services for a weekend. We went because my cousin pastor Xie from Taiwan with his wife Ester, encouraged us  and came with us. First, we stayed in a home from the member of the Bethel church in Redding CA. They hosted 8 people in their humble single home. They really practice what they preach. Then, on healing ministry Saturday,  I was standing there getting my morning coffee. Jamie was few steps away. All the sudden, a brother in his late 30 or early 40 approached me with 2 sisters, he approached me saying.   " I want to pray for you " 

       It was a surprise to me and immediately I pointed to Jamie." She needs... She got cancer..." 

       " No, I want to pray for you ..." 

       They were not interested at my explanation. He then started to pray and lay had on me and said.. And he softly spoke out ...  "  There is hope in Jesus... " 

       Tears started to flow down my face uncontrollabally. I sensed the Spirit filled me with this group of prayer warriors. All my walls came down. The sense of hopelessness while taking care of my ailing parents last few months.. Jamie worsening cancer condition....I see no hope in my future...
While I was still soaking in my tears,  they turned around and continued to pray for Jamie.

03-04-2015 Fighting Goliath

Since I don't post on the blog regularly, friends would ask me privately how am I doing?

It's a rather difficult question to answer:

I am doing the best I can to keep up a healthy and happy face.

I am beginning to feel pain and aches there and here. So I would be wondering is this related to tumors or just getting old?

I really don't care for living in this "yellow light" zone...wondering if I really have a "tomorrow" and what does that look like.

I kept telling myself to just live for today and be grateful...I am very thankful but is this enough for me to keep going on?

Prayer Requests:
1) Be able to see our foster daughter, Dena soon.
2) Favorable result of my CTScan at the end of month.
3) Positive attitude and inner strength to adjust to "Yellow Light" lifestyle.

02-17-2015 I Will Be A Conqueror, Not a Survivor!

As the bi-monthly infusions of clinical trail is stabling my medical condition, I got my mental health to get fitted.  So I decided to seek professional counselor to validate my feelings and emotions. 

During the first session, when the counselor first asked about my personal history "why are you seeking counseling? "
 
"I have recently been diagnosed of lung cancer, late stage" l answered. 

"Oh, I am so sorry to hear that" the counselor replied. 

"Do you have any other issues you wanted to talk about?" the counselor asked as she was typing out notes.

"I had ovarian cancer 3 years ago with hysterectomy and blood clots, I answered again. "Oh, mine, I am so sorry" the counselor seemed disbelief. 

"In 1994, I experienced infertility with endometriosis surgery and a failed adoption" I said it nonchalantly.

"Wow, you really have gone thru a lot, I am really sorry" the counselor glanced at me with a surprise look.

"Please stop, I don't like it when you pity me. I don't like people to feel sorry for me!" That was end of my first session.

My next session started on the wrong foot with a new male counselor, he would asked? "How do you feel?"

" I feel okay." I shrugged my shoulder.

"Okay is not a feeling, how do you feel?"
 
"I feel fine, beside the fact that I have cancer twice" I replied
 
"That's what you think, tell me how do you feel" the counselor urged me.

It was like this back and forth...I wanted to walk out of the session, but I have paid good money for this...dilemma! 

Then, I finally realized that I was denying myself to FEEL, get in touch with ME.  I didn't want people think I was WEAK and my family to WORRY.  I want to put up a happy and strong front.

At the third session, I was able to express my own feelings and fear: "I feel SAD about the situation I am in. I am REGRETFUL that I didn't take better care of my health yet BLISSFUL that I have support from families and friends".

I also confronted "cancer" face on. I told  "c" that I've beat "it" once and I will beat it again. I want "c" to get out of my life.

I feel so relieved and refreshed after this confrontation. Whenever I feel sad, I would call "c" names from A to F (I couldn't think of bad names after F).

It felt so good! I will be a "c" conqueror, not a survivor!

02-05-2015 Yellow Light Zone

I apologize for my silence lately. I have been doing a mental tune-up.

Thanks to all your prayers and support, everything seems to be going WELL for me. The clinical trail of immunology therapy is stabilizing my health condition (the verdict is April 2) .  Our foster daughter, Dena is waiting to get her Chinese passport approved within a month and we will then process her U.S. visa to visit us.

With everything going smoothly, I should be jumping for joy, right? I am hesitating...I'm adapting to live in "YELLOW light" zone. My nurse-in-charge urged me to "go back to live a normal life".

What's normal life for Jamie? What I thought was "normal" was work hard like everyone else, and try not to disappoint your families and friends. This "do it all" mentality has nailed me to the cancer zone not once but twice already.

So this time, I isolated myself in this bubble mansion to feel "save" and "loved".

My friends told me to focus on healing first, so I can continue to do things I wanted. But deep inside, I know I would never return to my old lifestyle again. I will always have this "red light" flashing at me even at dark corners of my life.

Oh, how I envy those of you still can run freely in the GREEN light zone! Even though our lives will eventually hit Red light someday.  Take it from me, it's a blessing not knowing when you or your loved will hit "RED".

So, just keep living.

01-30-2015 Reality Check and Adjusting to New Changes

I am adjusting to a lifestyle change and new routine.

My auntie from Taiwan, also one of my best friends accompanied me to have my 2nd clinical trail of immunology infusion therapy at UCLA Oncology Center last week.  Thankfully the aftermath of the infusion isn't bad at all, I only had one incident of really bad coughs that made you crawl and cry.  "Evert breath you take..." took a total new meaning to me now, however, this by far is much better than the traditional chemo that I had few years ago.  I am praying that immunology therapy would revolutionize how cancer could be treated in the future.

My oncologist had reality-check conversation with me: "Jamie, you will never be cured, however, the treatment is to contain your tumors, so you can function normally for as long as you can. If this treatment is proved to be effective, I will be getting shots every two weeks for the rest of my life, but they won't know til April when I have the CTScan for comparison.
 
It seems my life is at the YELLOW traffic light at the moment...I don't know how long I will stay in yellow light.  I know you all praying it may turn GREEN for me.  Then there's a possibility that it may turn RED...

I am adjusting to live with this reality and try make the best out of it!

Prayer Requests Update:

1) Our foster daughter. Dena got her passport application approved, it will take about a month to process it. Please continue to pray for her passage to LA to visit us.

2) My 3rd infusion next week and moving forward. 

01-07-2014 First Clinical Trial

Jamie's Medical Updates:

I finished my very first clinical treatment today at UCLA's Oncology Center. We also decided to overnight at the Shore Hotel. I don't have the reactions from the traditional chemotherapy and most importantly, I will get to keep my HAIR!! 

My clinical trial is the Immunology therapy, so I had two sets of blood drawn with 3 hrs of infusion. Thanks for all your prayers and encouraging notes....they really meant a lot to me!

My prayer Requests: 
1)Cancer free! And shrink those tumors....great results or HIS WILL be done!

2)Wisdom in bringing over foster daughter Dena from Xinjiang for a visit. 

3) David and I delebrated our 24 years anniversary today! So we plan to do a 25th Anniversary BASH next year!

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, do not lean on your own understanding, in all things acknowledge HIM, He will direct your paths straight. "(Proverbs 3:5-6)

Love you lots, 
Jamie